Breakdown: Top 5 Heaviest and Funkiest Songs of All Time [US Edition]

Here’s the full version to a recent post on KCRW’s 5 Things Blog…

{Disclaimer: Neither KCRW or the author will take responsibility for any injuries incurred while listening to these songs…you have been forewarned of their complete head nodding body-rocking ferocity}

Top 5 Heaviest and Funkiest Songs of All Time [US Edition]

I have a special place in my heart for all things funky. Whether it’s the psychedelic acid funk of Sly Stone, the second line strutting of the Meters or even the more recent retro funk of people like Sharon Jones & the Dap Kings, I simply love funky music.

But at the top of all the sub-genres of funk, I absolutely love what might be called “Heavy” funk songs. These are the songs that tend to be mostly instrumental and feature raw horns, insanely funky ‘rawkin’ drums, massive fuzzed out guitars, speaker cracking organ solos and ‘feel it all in your throat’ bass lines. These are not pat your foot and groove to the music kinds of songs. These are ‘throw your hands up and jump out of your chair they’re so funky’ kinds of songs. These songs might cause you to seriously injure yourself or someone nearby they’re so darn funky (thus, the disclaimer above).

So here is a list of the 5 heaviest and funkiest songs I could think of, so equally heavy, I can’t and won’t choose an order to them. There may be some others that are just as funky, but you’ll be hard pressed to find a “break your neck” heavier bunch than this…

Muddy Waters – Tom Cat – Electric Mud (Cadet Concept)

Many blues purists will poo-poo all over this record, which I can understand. It’s really not a blues album (neither is the ‘electric’ Howlin’ Wolf record with most of the same line-up), it’s a hippie exploitation psychedelic funk freak out of gargantuan proportions. This track is the jewel (and the only vocal track on this list), starting with either a recorded cat howl or a guitar meant to mimic those sounds and then all kinds of hell breaks loose; one set of funky drums in the left channel, inexplicable extra bass drum in the right, fuzzed out super wah-wahed guitars from a criminally overlooked master Pete Cosey, Indian inspired alto sax, an organ that gets buried underneath and Muddy Waters’ playfully suggestive vocals floating over all this aural craziness. I would have loved to have seen the “WTF” look on some of his long-time fans’ faces when they threw this monster on.

Frankie Seay & the Soul Riders – Black Jack – 7” (Tropical)

This song starts innocently enough, with a little solo flute passage…then the heaviest drums in all of creation (like Black Sabbath heavy, yes THAT heavy) arrive to knock you out of your seat before going into the full rhythm with equally heavy bass/guitar lines and horns. Solos from sax and guitar keep it extra gritty and round out one of the most head-bangingest funk songs I’ve ever heard. This has been featured on some comps before, particularly Florida Funk, though there it’s listed as “Soul Food,” which I believe is a mislabel based on the original 45.

Rusty Bryant – The Fireeater – The Fireeater (Prestige)

I still find all the elements of this song rather unbelievable, as in I can’t believe it all comes together into one song, even if it is 9 minutes long. Raw saxophone, check; Absolutely smokin’ jazzy guitar, check; Super fat impossibly heavy funky drums, check; Completely mind-bending eardrum shattering Hammond B-3 Organ solo, check and double check! The organ solo that dominates the middle part of this song is my all-time favorite. Above any from Jimmy Smith, Jimmy McGriff, Groove Holmes, Jack McDuff, or anybody else, I’d put this one up against anything. Though he didn’t record much Bill Mason absolutely KILLS this solo, I’d swear the Hammond B-3 he’s playing is just in little baby flaming pieces when he’s done. As if that wasn’t enough, you then get treated to drums pounded out in all their butt kickin’ and takin’ names funky glory by NOLA’s own Idris Muhammad. A classic and absolutely deserving of a spot on this heavy list.

James Brown – You Mother You – Sho Is Funky Down Here (King)

This track is almost like acid rock, but it retains a funky feel courtesy of the drum work. While the groove here is enough by itself to be included on this list, what cements it’s status is the legendary breakdown and guitar solo that occurs about a minute and a half in, perhaps the single heaviest thing Brown ever laid down (though there is some dispute if Brown was ever actually involved in this session, clearly it does feature members of Grodeck Whipperjenny, and many collectors view this as their “secret” second album). It was such a devastating sound that he cleaned it up and resurrected it later for the single “rock” version of “Talkin’ Loud & Sayin’ Nothin’” and it’s been sampled by a few, most famously by Main Source on “Just A Friendly Game of Baseball.”

Les Baxter (composer) – Hogin’ Machine – Hell’s Belles Original Soundtrack (Sidewalk)

Now, you might say, “Michael, this song is only one minute and 34 seconds long, how dangerous can it really be?” Clearly, you’ve never heard this wild soundtrack from an obscured Biker film from 1970. It’s also highly likely that after the first 10 seconds, with it’s totally unassuming harmonica and gently strummed guitar intro, that you may be in disbelief of it’s overall superior heaviness only to immediately get a taste of what’s in store, when the fuzzy guitars, drums and bass all rush in before returning swiftly back to the harmonica theme for another brief moment of solace. The song then kicks into full gear with some of the heaviest drums you’ll ever hear, laid out clean and then with bass until the whole world sounds like it’s gonna crash under the assault of fuzz and horns that closes things out. I still get goosebumps every time I hear this one.